**Cue the cheesy elevator music**
Ladies, Gentlemen, and Everyone Else Too:
Shopping for your mother or brother or daughter or husband or pet parakeet or sworn enemy this year? Torn between the latest in thermonuclear weaponry or that nifty auto-roasting coffee maker, between Fifty Shades and Tarantino and wholesome family fun? Fear not! Now you can get it all in one easy bundle guaranteed to provide hours of hilarious, creepy, puzzling entertainment to even the most discerning, mercurial reader.
Five entire books featuring my very own vaunted voyeur of neo-noir, the deranged detective with insurmountable insomnia and adroit alliterative abilities! The Clarke Lantham Mysteries will advise and accompany you in any conceivable situation. For example:
- Stuck with relatives through the holidays and wish they’d just die?
He’ll show you how to cope in A Ghostly Christmas Present.
- Still pining for your ex on long winter nights?
Solved and sorted in Smoke Rings. Next case, please.
- Worried about international relations or alien abductions?
Lantham gets to the bottom of what’s really going on in Silent Victor.
- Ever wonder if you can really trust your best friend?
You won’t after seeing what happens in He Ain’t Heavy.
With adventures to suit any occasion, Lantham is truly the best holiday companion you could wish for. Lurid without being nasty, suspenseful without being gimicky, hilarious without being tasteful, his wry wit and stubborn nobility will leave you gasping, laughing, breathless for more (and secure in the knowledge that, however poorly life treats you, it could be a whole lot worse. You could be Lantham).
Order now, and receive all five paperbacks for the price of four–and, since shipping takes a while, you’ll also get all five ebooks free, in the format of your choice, to enjoy right away. An $80 value for $50.