I have to confess, I’m in love. Five years ago–a full two years after I wrote Suave Rob’s Double-X Derring-Do–Dave Robison found Rob’s voice and brought him to life. Because of Dave’s performance, Suave Rob infected my soul, and within a couple months, Suave Rob’s Rough-n-Ready Rugrat Rapture burst upon the world in all its bodacious badassery and alliterative alacrity.

And, at the end of the Rugrat Rapture, Suave Rob amped up the anticipation when he hatched a plan to out-do all his previous high-altitude hijinks.

Now, at long last, the payoff. I proudly present you with Suave Rob’s Amazing Ass-Saving Association. Pay attention! Because as Suave Rob himself will tell you in this special audio vignette (embedded above), the ass you save may be your own!

The ass you save may be your own!

They surfed a supernova. They beat the Poseidon Front. They raptured the rugrats and made the solar system safe for the most bodacious badassery. Now Suave Rob and Gigolo Jeff are bringing their epicness to your establishment.

That’s right! Whether you’ve got problems with gropey groupies, sneaky stalkers, rapacious rivals, seriously shifty slavers, or a dangerously disastrous ducky drip, this top-notch team will put its ass on the line instead of yours.

Remember, in a solar system this big, filled with tsunamis and troublemakers and tax collectors galore, trouble always comes knocking. When your door sets to pounding with the drumming of doomy death, call Suave Rob’s Amazing Ass-Saving Association.

They’ll save your ass so you can live to sit another day!

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