Archive for the 'Lombard Alchemist' Category
July 9th, 2012 by jdsawyer
I used to own a menagerie of boids. Burmese or Ball or Reticulated pythons, or Boa Constrictors, they’re not exactly warm and fuzzy, but they are fascinating creatures. In a very real sense, living dinosaurs.
Of course, they’re not exactly cheap, so I had to justify their existence by using them in movies, photo shoots, and other projects. Though the menagerie is now mostly gone, I’m still using them. I used one of the photo shoots featuring Brian the Burmese Python as the basis of my story Lilith. Now, I give you a fun adventure story starring Judith the Burmese and Monty the Ball Python, a summer afternoon, and a great deal of mischief wrought by a certain pawnbroker.
I proudly present to you the latest Lombard Alchemist tale: The Serpent and the Satchel
What’s a little daydream between friends?
A cubicle is no place to waste a golden summer afternoon, which is why Albert escaped early to spend some time at the park. But when his boss piles on extra deadlines, he’s forced to work through his time off–at least, that’s the plan.
But neither Albert nor his boss could have planned planned on a surprise adventure courtesy a broken briefcase, an escaped python, and a mischievous pawnbroker who keeps a creepy little shop out on the edge of nowhere.
Available now on Kindle and at Smashwords. Coming soon to Nook.
February 6th, 2012 by jdsawyer
For those of you who liked my recent story on Escape Pod (which will hit ebook format this month), I’ve got another tale from the pawnshop for you. Call it a fable about the value of a healthy sense of self. And for me, personally, this is a favourite. So, step into the pawnshop and pay no attention to the cold. The bald cat and his pet man will give you what you need, even if it isn’t what you want.
Sunday Morning Giraffe: A Lombard Alchemist Tale
Aldo is a five-year-old who always gets his way. When he doesn’t, bad things happen. So when he wakes up his father at 3AM on Sunday and demands a giraffe–in spite of the fact that giraffes do not live in the high desert in the middle of winter–his father grudgingly takes him on a giraffe-hunting safari.
Unfortunately, his parents know nothing about the source of Aldo’s will power, and would be shocked to discover that his chief ally is a demon-posessed rat with an agenda of its own involving a toy giraffe from a creepy little pawnshop way out on the edge of nowhere.
Buy it now for the Kindle and for all other readers.
January 7th, 2012 by jdsawyer
Being that it’s the beginning of the year, I’ve been a busy boy laying my evil plans. Since some of you have asked on twitter what’s looming on the horizon for the next few month, here’s a tentative schedule (subject to change if I work faster or get bogged down):
Launch a Kickstarter campaign in concert with Gail Carriger. Yup, we’re gonna be working together on something audio-oriented (this will happen toward the end of the month).
Recording Free Will (big project) and the first 3 Lantham audiobooks
Free Will podcast re-launches (probably. If not Feb, then early March, as I’ll be travelling in late Feb).
Commercial release of the first (or more) Lantham audiobooks
MAYBE the DF10 soundtrack, if the timing works out with me and Schadey
Throwing Lead (the long-awaited “Gun Book”) will see the light of day this month.
Silent Victor (Clarke Lantham #4) will also show up late this month.
Chicken Noodle Gravity (Lombard Alchemist #2, featured last month on Escape Pod) will release as an ebook
There are two other short stories as well that will release, assuming I can find time to do the cover art.
The Auto Motive (Motives, book 1–a steampunk urban fantasy YA adventure series–might release after I get back from my travels in March)
He Ain’t Heavy (Lantham #5, again, this is a maybe)
March or April:
The Summer Town (standalone Southern Gothic romance/horror)
Sunday Morning Giraffe (Lombard Alchemist #3, short story)
Several other short stories, perhaps as many as five
April or May:
Probably either Student Culture or The Last Uploader (both standalone SF novels, both currently in progress)
Down From Ten
Predestination (re-release–we had problems with the printer that have dogged us for months on this one)
Sculpting God, Vol. 1
A Ghostly Christmas Present/Smoke Rings (Lantham #2 and #3 in a single ace-double style volume)
February or March:
April or May
The Auto Motive
He Ain’t Heavy (assuming it winds up being long enough for a solo paperback release)
The Summer Town
The Last Uploader or Student Culture
Projects that might jump to the front:
The book version of Principles of Contracts (with lots more content and a better title)
A podcast to accompany Throwing Lead
— — —
Like I said, this is all tentative and subject to change at my imperious whim. The stuff slated for January is basically a lock, the stuff further out is less certain. There’s also more going on behind the scenes here that is not directly tied to writing output, some of which will produce results that you’ll see on the blog and in other places around the ‘net.
And if you’re an Antithesis fan, don’t worry. I start work in earnest on Avarice (Antithesis #3) in April.
I now return you to your regularly scheduled Internet
December 10th, 2011 by jdsawyer
Last April, Mur Lafferty was the subject of a fan-driven firestorm around at Escape Pod. The prevalence of lesbians in her magazine was raising a few eyebrows among both people who don’t like lesbians and people who wanted to see more gay men. As is the case with Internet controversies, the point at issue was more or less just an excuse for a good old-fashioned flame war, and in a frustration-inspired bid at surrealism Mur posted to twitter something along the lines of “Escape Pod is now soliciting stories containing gay men, soup cans, and singularities.”
I ask you, how could I pass up a challenge like that? I sent back to her “You’ll have it next week.” Not only did she have it next week, but she liked it, and she bought it. The result is this week’s Escape Pod episode, Chicken Noodle Gravity.
Read by Paul Haring, Chicken Noodle Gravity is the second of The Lombard Alchemist Tales, a series of short stories I kicked off earlier this year with At The Edge of Nowhere. The Lombard Alchemist Tales are stories of mystery, and darkness, and wonder. At the borders of society, around the next quarter, lurking in the shadows, all around us are dark and comic stories fit to unmake our darkest dreams. My job? Find them, bring them to you, and let you figure out how to survive them. Centered around a spooky pawn shop run by a devilish shopkeeper in a broken-down gambling boomtown where some people go there for salvation, some for curiosity, and some to scrape up a little bit of money to buy a few more cans of soup. And sometimes, they get more than they bargain for.
So, with that said, I hope you enjoy Chicken Noodle Gravity. Stay tuned for more fun news coming to this space in the days leading up to Christmas.
October 17th, 2011 by jdsawyer
The time has come. There’s too much going on not to have a mailing list and a newsletter, so I’ve taken the plunge. Newsletter readers will get quarterly (and sometimes more-than) updates and general goofiness from me delivered directly to their email boxes. Two weeks later, an edited version of those newsletters will be posted here.
Edited, you say?
Well, yes. Subscribers to the newsletter will get the occasional special preview, discount coupon, contest, and other such goodies that won’t be available to anyone else. Those items will be clipped out of the newsletter before it’s posted here. But other than that, it’ll be about the same thing.
If you wish to subscribe to the newsletter, simply email me at feedback _at_ jdsawyer.net, or use the contact form on this site, and say so.
So, if you’ve been trying to figure out what the hell I’ve been up to for the last year and a half, wait no longer. You can now download the inaugural issue as a epub, mobi, and PDF.
February 28th, 2011 by jdsawyer
I am proud to present the first in a series I’ve been prepping for a while now. The Lombard Alchemist Tales center around a pawn shop in a gambler’s town–but not just any pawn shop, a special pawn shop full of strange artifacts, each with a unique story and an unusual effect on the world.
The Lombard Alchemist Tales are stories of mystery, and darkness, and wonder. At the borders of society, around the next quarter, lurking in the shadows, all around us are stories fit to unmake our darkest dreams. My job? Find them, bring them to you, and let you figure out how to survive them.
And what of this story?
If you spend enough time at the end of your rope, you’ll make some bad choices–make enough of them, and your choices start making themselves. But when you’re a nineteen year old boy living on the streets with no money for food, you find salvation anywhere you can. Maybe in a dumpster, or a brothel, or a gun. Or maybe in a creepy, cold pawn shop, in a broken down city at the edge of nowhere.
At the Edge of Nowhere is now available through Amazon, Barnes & Noble, and Smashwords.
—Story Sample Below the Cut—
Continue reading ‘Released: At The Edge of Nowhere’