Yesterday, I wound up in a protracted philosophical argument with Gail Carriger about the relative utility and desirability of cats and dogs. While normally such conversations between cat people and dog people devolve into “this is my species, that’s yours, let’s not kill each other about it” (or into actual violence), this conversation took a different path.
Since both Gail and I are academically bent (and I do mean “bent”), we wound up debating the relative merits of dogs and cats, and their inherent fitness for different purposes. Then, as is the wont of the academically bent, we formulated our conclusions into a proper theory. Here it is.
The Theory of Domestic Animals as Sorted by Suitedness for Purpose
The evidence shows that people interested in interactive television, mobile fuzzy furniture, a belligerent work distraction, or an incentive to attempt developing their telepathic abilities would be best served by the purchase of a feline of a color scheme that compliments the interior decor.
The evidence further shows that people who in search of a sidekick will be best served by the purchase of a canine with a compatible temperament and a coat suited to the local climate.
Now you know. And knowing is…well, you know.